A neighbour of mine does a top secret job.. He popped in the other night for a beer and a chat and told me about his recent trip to the Middle East. He flew from Heathrow to Dubai but, as the roads were prone to mines and being blown up, he had to be ‘helicoptered’ in to his destination.

He told me he owed his life to the pilot. Ten minutes into the flight the helicopter came under fire and the pilot had to perform near-acrobatic manoeuvres to avoid being hit. At one stage his was scraping over the tops of trees. When he finally landed it was high fives all round.

‘It was fucking amazing,’ said my neighbour.

We started to discuss a family outing for our kids in the Summer Holidays. I suggested Chessington or Alton Towers.

‘No way,’ he said. ‘There’s no way I’m going on those rides’.