I’m not even on it. At last count we had 16 guinea pigs, 5 rabbits, 2 dogs and 1 cat.
Nine of the guinea pigs even have their own Wendy House in the garden. Can you believe that?
All the animals need feeding. And cleaning. The dogs need walking but at least the cat can walk itself (in fact, it practically looks after itself although I’ve yet to see it open a tin of cat food).
I put up with it for a quiet life. I did suggest one guinea pig per child but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears.
In some ways, the animals have their uses. Waste disposal for example. Left over fruit and veg can just be tipped into the Wendy House and devoured.
My old newspapers are used to line the flooring and the cages. But now they’re starting to be used when I haven’t even read them.
‘Where’s the sport section, darling? Oh, under a pile of guinea pig shit. Silly me.’
I’m going to leave a note for the paper boy to not bother with the letter box on the front door but just drop the paper straight into the Wendy House.
Ha Ha Ha
I used to have a hamster and we buried it in the garden.
I put in new fence after one of the big storms last year, and dug the little shit up it was in a plastic box and looked like fucking ravioli I was tempted to eat it but I fed it to the dog instead.
The dog had tried for years to eat the hamster so finally got its wish.