Ironic isn’t it? The Kyoto agreement is just signed and a huge explosion takes place in the Middle of England billowing billions of tonnes of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.

One would have thought that with all the hot air politicians speak the ozone layer is extinct anyway.

I believe the Earth will recover – it always does. If we disrepect it, it will get rid of us and cleanse itself like a dog scratching fleas away.

You know what will happen next though – the fire is so big that we’ll run out of clean water.