Jesus existed. He was a real person. Or at least someone with his outlook on life did. Trouble is, in those days, there was no printing, television or internet. So it was mainly word of mouth.

‘That Jesus bloke talks a lot of sense, doesn’t he?’

Somehow though his story got hijacked by those in power to keep us under control. If Jesus was such a good person then we should all be like him and if you’re not then you’ll go to hell – or something like that.

But there are other human beings who stand out – Gandhi, Mandela, King, Mother Theresa. All people with great standards and morals.

In thousands of years they’ll be revered like the bloke with the long hair and a beard.

Those of you who read IVV will know that I like to indulge in wine. It’s probably the French Connection. Sometimes it makes me feel guilty but most of the time it makes me feel good.

Wine generates thoughts in wondrous ways. A lot of the time things make sense. A lot of the time things seem funnier. And a lot of the time things seem sexier. Sometimes it’s all three.

Take last night for example. I was watching the weather on TV being presented by a rather nice Weather Girl. I forget her name but she was very attractive, nice smile, held herself well, nicely dressed – you know, ticked all the boxes. I understood perfectly what she was telling me but then my mind started to wander.

It was the words and phrases she was using that were making me smile and, to be frank, a bit horny.

“There’s a warm front coming”. Really?

“I can guarantee it’ll be dirty and mucky later”. Gulp.

“And it’ll be soaking wet tonight”. Oo er.

I must admit I shifted in my seat a little.

Until she started talking about wind.

It’s the question we’re always afraid to ask; why are we here?

More to the point, how did we get here?

Stephen Hawking, the wheelchair bound professor, is close to finding out. It could be months, it could be years but he will do it. He’s a determined fellow, that’s for sure.

He has very nearly combined the theories of the Very Big (Relativity) with the Very Small (Qauntum Physics). The problem is gravity. How can a metal object fall to the ground when you drop it yet when you use a magnet it can be picked up again?

Work that one out and you have discovered The Theory of Everything.

Not quite everything though. How does it explain that the most intelligent brain in the world is in a body riddled with motor neurone disease?

God must know.