I went to The Menagerie this week and saw H, R and P for the first time in a few days. Silly, I know, but I was excited!

I was expecting a rapturous welcome and but came across indifference instead. Of course, it wasn’t right to show any disappointment because they’re children after all. In some ways I was glad that they’re getting used to the new arrangements and feel comfortable with them.

I sat on the sofa in the living room trying to engage them in conversation. H was doing her homework. R and P were bouncing around playing on the Wii.

‘Everything ok at school?’ I enquired.

‘Yes, Dad’ they said in unison.

‘All the animals ok?’

‘Yes, Dad.’ Their disinterest started to bug me a little, I must confess.

‘Come on!’ I enthused. ‘I haven’t seen you for nearly a week!’

‘But we see you most nights, Dad,’ said H.

‘What do you mean?’

Then it dawned on me. They had created a version of me on the Wii – even down to the glasses and strawberry blonde (some say, ginger) hair.

It was spookily accurate.

It was shit at tennis as well.